I'd like to thank you all for tuning in today, we've got an amazing offer for you here at the TATTS headquarters, but only if you call in the next 30 minutes (operators are standing by)
First of all, I'd like you to take a look right here, it's Presto's all new ....
Salad Shooter, that's right, this professional little device right here will provide all of the vegetable carnage you could ever need, (destroy a small family of carrots? done, take out a whole field of cabbage? can you say coleslaw?) no vegetable stands a chance with this bad boy
but wait!
if you order now, you will also get this compact and convenient
Bagel Slicer!! this space age device only uses twice the counter space of a standard toaster, will fit under most cabinets and will perfectly cut one bagel at a time, no electricity required
now how much would you expect to pay for these two time saving devices?
we could charge you $500 for these and still go to sleep at night,
but we wont,
we wont charge you $400,
$300,
or even $200
with our special offer today we're only asking +199.99 (plus taxes and shipping and handling) in seven easy payments of 29.99
But WAIT!!!
I have one more thing for you lovely folks at home, if you mention the code word "vorpal" to our operators we will include at no extra charge the ingenious
Rotato. Oh, the beauty and elegance. Why spend 45+seconds to peel a potato with a standard peeler, when you can pull this tool out of the cupboard set it all up, disassemble it to wash and put it away,
clearly this is "the fastest way to peel anything."
BUT WAIT!!
if you order now we'll pay your first month's payment of 29.99
Operators are standing by.
My mom had 2 out of 3 of those... =S
ReplyDeleteplease tell me she had the giant bagel cutter!!! (not a Jewish reference)
ReplyDeletesadly, we had none of these fun and interesting gadgets in my home growing up. i stayed up late watching all the info-mercials and spent the daytime trying to convince my mother how much we NEEDED to have whatever it was.
ReplyDeletei DID have the pleasure of operating the infuriating bagel slicer while working several years at several different cafes. in the end, i cut them by hand, it was a lot easier!
No, no, I think my father's voice of reason kept the bagel slicer out of the house, though she did have a smaller hand held gadget with the same purpose... that wasn't a knife.
ReplyDeleteAs a kid I watched almost all of the infomercials and wanted the gadgets, but could never convince my parents to buy any. Now I have a fascination with odd kitchen gadgets-I have a food dehydrator, magic bullet blender, creme brulee torch, home soda carbonator and a few other oddities packed away in my basement.
ReplyDelete@ scrapyard - while I have none of these, you wouldn't believe the gadgets I do have (including at least 5 waffle irons, and no I am not a hoarder)
ReplyDelete