Scary Beyond All Reason

OK, I admit it, I have a thing against clowns, though I do often find them creepy, it's not really because they scare me, (since most clowns are played by women and skinny men I'm confident in my ability to take a rogue one down) 

No, it's mainly because there pretty much never funny, that and there creepy, (did I mention that)

well lets see what I can do to help out;

 Why don't monsters eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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What do you get when you cross a witch and a clown?

A Brew-ha-ha!

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And Finally -

Why did the clown cross the road?

To find his rubber chicken!!

and a special thanks to Jason S. who is anything but a class clown

Pork n' Beans

What's for dinner tonight, lets see... I've got some mustard...

  

 and my wife said she bought a ham today... sounds great

 

oh, that's what she meant, 

oh well, at least we have a jar of pork n' beans

Goin' to the Roadshow

Occasionally when shopping at thrift stores I come across a valuable little gem, now usually (If I don't want to keep it myself) I'll put it on Ebay, but this time, I think I'll wait for the roadshow to come to town, I think I can guess how it will go....

Them: "Welcome to the Roadshow, what do you have for us today"

Me: (lying) "I have a figurine which belonged to my great grandma, I can't remember who it is, but I"m sure it's old"

Them: (knowingly asking obvious questions)"Are there any details on the piece that really come out to you?"

Me:(still lying) "It's been around all my life, but there are two markings on the front which I've recently noticed, and think might be significant"

Them: "Exactly! now if you'll notice, what really shows the age of this guy is that both marks are there, this captain is really old"

Me: (exasperated) "so cut to the chase.... What's it worth???"

Me: "WHOOOOO!!!! Gettin' my Vette' "

(Dedicated to my three year old nephew, Elias who has been loving this show as long as I can remember)

Follow up: a reader shared this photo of the apprasal of a rarer and more valuable model of this antique 

 

Burger Time

The other day I was looking at one of those "you know you're from the 80's if..." things

and I saw this graphic ...

and I thought to myself

" I could really go for one of those giant burger platters at the local diner . . ."



umm no, see I really had something more three dimensional in mind,

you know, big fluffy bun, thick patty...











neeayoooo I was really thinking something more along the lines of something edible...

(and what is that supposed to be with all of those thick white lines?!?!)


uhhh, last I checked, metal hamburgers aren't suitable for consumption either

Yummm. Scooby-Doo hamburger marshmallows, lying around the house long enough to make it to the thrift store, mmmmm

(Yeah the marshmallows were still shrink-wrapped in the tin)

perhaps I'll have a hot dog

or just a glass of water, yeah, that sounds good